I am all about getting to the root of problems, but sometimes it's nice to have a simple tool to get yourself out of a bad headspace so you can move on with your day. I met with a client recently and we did this exercise together. She loved that it was quick, simple, effective, and you could do it in just a few minutes. She even asked me to write down the steps for her so she could practice it on her own. If it worked for her, I’m sure this will quickly become one of your favorite exercises too.
This Can Help Reset Your Mind from the Following:
Overthinking
Criticism
Replaying Situations
Overstimulation
Negativity
Worry
Irritation
Restlessness
Lack of Focus
Decision Fatigue
And more
How It Works
We have a nervous system that flows between high energy and low energy states. Pleasant and unpleasant emotions fit into both energy categories. The goal is to seamlessly flow between the high-energy states and low-energy states as you respond to your environment and internal needs.
High energy states happen when your nervous system is busy. Your heart rate will increase and breathing might quicken. Positive high energy states include joy, playfulness, and excitement. Stress-Induced high energy states include feelings like anger, anxiety, and fear. Low energy states are when your nervous system is sleepy. The heart rate will be slowed down so will breathing and other processes like digestion. Positive slow states include calmness, relaxation, and peacefulness. Stressed induced low-energy states are depressive, dissociative, and disconnecting.
Stress-induced states are not “bad emotions” although they may be unpleasant to experience. All emotion is communication about something we need. The problem occurs when we get stuck in those extremes and can’t find our way back. This is when it can be helpful to ground yourself. This exercise is designed to provide a ladder to help you climb up or down so you can feel grounded where you are.
Step 1: Do the COAL test
The beginning COAL test is optional, but it can be a helpful way to measure progress and to grow an awareness of how much certain states of mind are benefiting you. COAL is an acronym coined by Dr. Daniel Siegel that is meant to describe a healthy mind. A COAL state is defined by Curiosity, Openness, Acceptance, and Love. I created a question for each attribute so we can better understand this healthy state.
Curiosity: Does the unknown feel scary or like an adventure?
Openness: Am I open to the ideas of others or am I feeling rigid in my ways?
Acceptance: Am I tolerant or accepting to the differences of others?
Love: Am I able to give love and compassion to myself
Step 2: Find the Right Memory
Locate a memory when everything felt just right. We all have at least one. The memory I like to use is from a trip I took to El Salvador. I remember feeling peaceful, thankful, calm, and not having a care in the world. I was in a bubble of serenity. Find the Memory that recalls those feelings for you.
Step 3: Engage the Senses
Memory is created by our five senses plus our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. We want to recreate the memory as vividly as possible by visiting each of these areas in our memory. Spend some time answering each of the following questions. The more detailed and descriptive you are, the more effective the exercise will be.
In this memory:
What do I see around me? Example: I see the sunrise, and the beach. The water is sparkling. I look behind me and see a villa with beautiful architecture, and exotic plants.
What is the temperature like? Are there any textures I remember feeling? Example: Sand in between my toes, the feeling of sun on my skin, and the air is quite warm.
What do I hear? Example: I can hear seagulls, the song banana pancakes is playing in the background and I hear friends laughing in the distance.
What do I smell? Example: I can smell sunscreen and “sea smell”
What do I taste? Example: I remember eating the best avocados on this trip
Now we will put attention to our body sensations. As you visit each body sensation, allow your current body state to reflect the positions from the memory.
What are the muscles in my face doing? Are they scrunched or relaxed? Example: In this memory, My face muscles are relaxed
What is my posture like? Are my shoulders hunched over, held back? Is there tension coming from my neck? Example: My shoulders are set back and my neck is aligned
How does your heart feel? Example: My heart feels warmed, full.
How does your gut feel? Example: My gut feels relaxed.
Step 4: Absorb the Moment
Now that we have engaged the memory with all our senses, allow yourself to feel filled with the moment. Sit in this place for as long as you would like, until you feel satisfied.
Step 5: Re-evaluate Your COAL state
By now, you will likely notice differences in your stress level, mental clarity, and emotional state. You can check these results against the COAL test.
Curiosity: Does the unknown feel scary or like an adventure?
Openness: Am I open to the ideas of others or am I feeling rigid in my ways
Acceptance: Am I tolerant or accepting to the differences of others?
Love: Am I able to give love and compassion to myself?
Notes About Exercise Success:
If you notice this doesn’t help you, that’s okay. The following notes are worth considering if you found this exercise did not help you reset your mind.
Mindfulness is a muscle. This exercise will become more powerful the more times you practice it. You will get better at focusing, tuning into your peaceful memory, and bringing that memory back with you to the present. You may need to practice growing the right muscle.
You may need a different memory. The memory you chose may not be filling your needs for the moment. Picking a different memory could offer different “ingredients” to form the emotional state you are looking for.
You may not know how to create safety in your body yet. I believe this is a skill every person can learn! If this is true for you, it would be helpful to meet with someone who can help you learn how to create safety for yourself first.
What is your COAL memory?
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